Vent

Is it just me or do we all have those people in our lives whose main life goal seems to be to make sure that you're miserable no matter what?

We have someone like that in our lives.

I will spare details but sometimes it feels like neverending CRAP that we can do nothing about. I'm so tired of it I'd like to rip heads off and puke down their throats. Seriously.

I cannot take it anymore.

Update.

Wow! It's been awhile.

Chris and I have moved to a house! We found us a cute little 2 bedroom home not too far from where we were living before. I can still walk to work and we are close enough to everything else to make it worthwhile. It's the perfect little home for us and our little one....when he gets here! In the meantime, come visit us! We're here!

Which by the way, in case you weren't already aware....we are having a little BOY! At first I was a little freaked out about having a boy because I have NO IDEA what to do with a boy! I was 8 when my brother was born and didn't help at all with changing his diaper, feeding him, etc, etc, etc. We were just too young. I know that when he gets here it will all come naturally and I'll be his expert. :)

His Daddy and I are very excited about him being here. We are eager to meet him and watch him grow and are already praying for him, his life and his future bride.

By the way, his full name will be Coleman Daniel Lee Morgan. And no, Cole is not an acceptable nickname.
Coleman was the name that Chris and I agreed on, Daniel is after my Daddy, and Lee is a family name on Christopher's side.

I'm in the last week of my second trimester now. My pregnancy has been alright. I'm tired all the time and am very hormonal. I frequently feel yucky, but nowhere near the way I felt during the first trimester!
I don't really crave anything in particular....in fact, most of my food cravings haven't changed at all. However, Chris got me a Wild Cherry Pepsi today on accident and that sounds wonderful right now!

It's after 3 in the morning as I sit here and type this up. We got a new bed this week and were up late setting it up. Who knew that a bed could be so complicated? Then we made a quick Wal-Mart trip (I"m sure we set a record for ourselves) and after getting home and feeling how wonderful it felt outside, we got out our lawn chairs and sat on our porch in the dark until 2 in the morning. After going to bed, I couldn't sleep so I got up and showered and here I am now. I really should get some sleep but am just not feeling it right now. I will most definitely pay for it in the morning!

I am still really loving being married to Christopher. Marriage is HARD but it is much easier when you know you married the person that God intended for you from the beginning. It also doesn't hurt that he's my best friend and has been for years! Isn't God's plan the BEST? I probably don't tell Chris enough but I love him and all that he does for Coleman and myself. I love how much he loves me and isn't afraid to express that love to me. I"m a pretty lucky girl!

Chris's family recently moved nearby.. I still miss my own parents and siblings greatly but am happy to have some family so close. We are very blessed to have such good families. 

Hmmm....I really should keep up with this more often. I don't write on it enough! :)

Negativity

I am eliminating negativity from my life. I'm tired of drama, negative comments, and discouragement. We don't need that. We don't want that.

I'm tired it not being able to enjoy myself, my pregnancy and most of all my husband.

I have no problem hurting feelings of those who have hurt us. If I delete you on Facebook, or don't talk to you in person, then it's because you are bringing me down. I don't have to put up with it...and I won't. I'm tired of being a doormat. I'm tired of being run over time and time again. I'm not putting up with it anymore.

We are putting on a positive attitude. We are taking care of ourselves and the life that is growing inside of me. There will always be negativity in the world, but my home does not have to be a negative place. I want my child to feel safe, secure, and loved...and we can't give them that security if we don't have it ourselves and we are taking care of that now.

So long negativity. You are not welcome here.

Pregnancy Update

Well, we are 9 weeks today! I've had a fairly easy pregnancy thus far...just a lot of nausea, fatigue, and a but of irritability. Oh, and weight gain. Yuck.

I know we announced really early that we were pregnant but we have a lot of faith that the Lord will protect us and our little one. Plus, if something bad were to happen, I would rather people know and we would be able to seek comfort in the best of places.

On a brighter note, there are 2 other women at church that are also pregnant and due exactly 1 and 2 weeks before me!! It had been so nice to compare notes with them and seek wisdom from them (they both have one already).

My brother and sisters are very excited about our news. They keep asking when we find out the gender and when he/she is coming. It's very fun.

Keep praying for us my friends. Keep posting for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. Keep praying for Chris as he has to deal with my fatigue and mood. Keep praying that we will be good parents and teach our children about the love of Jesus in our walk and talk.

A Baby is Coming!

We're going to have a baby! Our due date is mid-January.

Chris and I are so very excited.

We told our parents last week, after we found out that we were pregnant. We told the rest of our family and friends tonight as we couldn't keep it a secret any longer!

Our siblings are SO excited. The screaming and carrying on that happened for the next few hours was almost more than we could handle! We are so very blessed to have brothers and sisters who love us and are excited with us!

We're only five weeks along and I am well aware that the first 12 weeks are the most dangerous for our little one. However, I have faith that God is going to protect us and our child. Please pray for us as we navigate these next 7 weeks.

I wish I had more time (and energy) to tell our story but alas, I will save that for another day.

With much love,

Leah

They told us before we were married that the first year was the hardest. I didn’t believe them. “How could the year after you’re first married be the hardest when you’re so in love?” I thought to myself.

Oh boy. They were right.

I understand it now. You go from the single life where you come and go as you please, you spend money however you want to, you sleep by yourself diagonally across your bed, you set your alarm to go off 20 minutes before you actually need to so you can hit the snooze alarm several times, you are responsible for you and only you. Then you get married and you are responsible and accountable to someone else. You learn to share a bed, a bathroom, and other living space. I thought it would be much like living with sisters but it is most definitely not.

Our first year definitely had it’s ups and downs.

We moved 4 times before the end of the year. Once to our apartment in St. Robert, once to Indiana, and twice after the initial move to Indiana. In St. Robert, we lived a mere 0.4 miles from my job and 1 mile from Christopher’s job. Our schedules matched up and we were able to eat lunch together every day. We bought a truck with the intention of only using it for a few miles a day.

Then came the decision to move to Indiana. The next 5 months were AWFUL. We lived with family (not exactly nice for a newlywed couple) and had to learn how to live with them AND each other. It was difficult, very very difficult and yet it made us stronger and made us love each other more.

I spent 6 weeks jobless when we first moved to Indiana and it was very rough on us financially. Chris had decent job but we knew that for the time being we couldn’t live on his income alone. And I was BORED. Finally, after many days of combing the classifieds and searching the internet, I found a job that helped us get back on track. I loved the people, but hated the hours. It decreased the time we were able to spend together, sometimes we had completely opposite schedules. We knew I needed to find something else. Now I have a good job.

Shortly after that we were able to move to Seymour, where we attended a great church. We found a GOOD apartment at a CHEAP price. We were able to pay our bills on time and build up our savings account.

We dealt with the difficulty of Chris’s schedule. He went from working 6am-4pm and then some overnight shifts (pure torture for me) and then finally 7am to 5pm. We get home at about the same time.

We learned that even though we DO know what we’re talking about, people may not listen to us.

Then we started to learn more about the people around us and learn that we were wrong in our perceptions of them. It’s earth-shattering thinking that someone you know is one way and it turns out that you were completely wrong. It broke our hearts.

I had to learn that my parents aren’t going to be able to fix EVERYTHING. We also learned that our parents are not perfect.

We learned that even though we’ve moved out and are hours away, our siblings can still annoy the heck out of us. And sometimes it’s just better to communicate our issues to them so they know when they’ve hurt you in some way, even though it was unintentional.

We learned that neither one of us is perfect like we thought the other was before we were married, and that it’s just me that’s perfect (kidding!). We learned to communicate our feelings and frustrations and not to go to bed when we’re hurt, angry, or frustrated.

We learned to lean on each other. It’s so easy for me to go to another room and cry my heart out but sometimes it’s okay to let Chris hold me as I cry.

We dealt with terrifying, vivid nightmares as a side effect of birth control (ask me about chicken babies, blood drives, worms, and stalkers sometime). We also learned that my body is going to retaliate against me for going OFF said birth control. We learned that even though our parents were able to get pregnant right away, we have to wait on the Lord’s timing…no matter how badly we wanted it to happen 2 months ago.

This past year has had it's ups and downs, it's highs and lows. However, I wouldn't trade the love that Christopher and I share for anything else this world has to offer.

Happy Anniversary Christopher Aaron. I love you! 

Thoughts

Disclaimer: I am not here to judge. However, this is my blog and I have a right to my own opinion. Please respect my opinion.
 
Have you seen that commercial about depression? The one that says that depression hurts...and that depression hurts everyone. Well, it's the same with divorce. Divorce hurts...and it hurts everyone.

Divorce hurts the woman.  Divorce hurts the man.  Divorce hurts the children.  Divorce hurts friends.  Divorce hurts family members.  Divorce hurts the church.  Divorce hurts everyone. 

I'm not talking about myself. Chris and I are very happy. I'm talking about others around me. I'm talking about people I know well. I'm talking about people who used to mean a lot to me. I'm talking about half the church.

When Chris and I got married, we made vows that said, "Til death do us part." I meant every word of that vow. Chris is going to have to die to get out of our marriage. I will die before I get out of our marriage. Others say that too, but why don't they follow through?

Especially if they consider themselves Christians?

What does the Bible teach about Divorce? Read this.
What are the Biblical ground for Divorce? Read this.

Divorce is wrong. It hurts everyone.

It's so funny that I was thinking about this during my shower the other day (where I do all my best thinking) and composed the first half of this blog post. AND THEN, that same day as Chris and I did our devotions before bed, the book we are working through touched a little bit on divorce. He and I had a great discussion about it and agreed on everything we discussed.

I believe that divorce is an act of complete selfishness. Seriously, get over yourself. LOVE  is a choice. We learned that as teenagers in our "True Love Waits" conferences. So, when you CHOOSE to divorce, you are CHOOSING not to love someone anymore. I don't believe there's such a thing as "falling in love" or  "falling out of love." It's an excuse. Divorce is lazy. Why take the easy way out? Divorce is costly, yes, but it's easy to just leave someone behind isn't it? Why not TRY a little harder and WORK on the marriage. When Chris and I got married, we were told that marriage wasn't easy. I believe that wholeheartedly now. And I love Chris and I honor and respect our marriage and commitment enough to WORK on it, even if I don't want to.

Both mine and Chris's parents drew a picture example for us before we were married....and it looked an awful lot like this:

And when we lose our focus on God, our triangle becomes lopsided, unbalanced.

Now, I'm no expert on marriage...in fact, I've only been married for a year. BUT I'm not an idiot. I know it takes three (God, Man, Woman) to make a marriage work and it takes two (Man, Woman) to break it apart. And once you take out that third element, you're in for a world of hurt.

Divorce hurts....everyone.

Thoughts?

"I Am"

Someone put this post on their xanga wall about six years ago and I haven't forgotten about it.

I have the day off so I went searching for it and found it. I'm not sure why she labeled it "For Leah..." And I don't even know if she really meant it for me or someone else.

It's the lyrics to the song "I Am"  by Nichole Nordeman.

And here is a Youtube link to the song... http://youtu.be/-b7vXuslOGQ

Sunday, January 22, 2006

For Leah... Pencil marks on a wall I wasn't always this tall, You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed, You watched my team win, You watched my team lose, You watched when my bicycle went down again, And When I was weak unable to speak, still I could call You by name, and I said “Elbow healer, Superhero, come if You can,” and You said “I am” Only 16, life is so mean, what kind of curfew is at ten PM You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break Heard when I swore I’d never love again When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name, and I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper, be my Best Friend” and You said “I am” You saw me wear white, by pale candlelight, I said forever to what lies ahead two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream too much it might seem when it’s two AM when I am weak, unable to speak, still I will call You by name. “Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker, hold on to my hand,” and You say “I am.” The winds of change, And circumstance blow in and all around us so we find a foothold that’s familiar, And bless the moments that we feel You nearer Life had begun, I was woven and spun, You let the angels dance around the throne, who can say when, But they’ll dance again, when I am free and finally headed home I will be weak, unable to speak, still I will call You by name “Creator, Maker, Life-sustainer, Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer, Lord and King, Beginning and the End, I am, yes, I am.” ~Nichole Norderman

A Hair Experiment

Sometimes I get a little tired of the same ol' same ol' when it comes to my hair.
So this afternoon, after taking a very relaxing bath...I spent some time in front of the mirror playing.
I'd been surfing pinterest and the blogs linked to them and got some inspiration...

I took a whole lot bobby pins...

Yes, I used ALL of these!

 Used a dab of gel and then twisted and pinned them to the top of my head until I came up with this...

It looked better in person.

Charming, yes?

(Every now and then yelling from the bathroom, "Honey! Come look! Did I miss anything?")

After finishing the pinning, I waited about 2 hours, then took a diffuser and blow dryer to finish off the drying process (my hair takes FOREVER to dry), pulled out the bobby pins and got this!!

Curls!

It wasn't exactly what I was looking for but it was fun to experiment!

And hey, even Chris liked it. :)

The Unloved One...

I can't help but repost this....it's one of my most thought-provoking posts and I just love it.

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

The Unloved One.....

So I was thinking about how in Genesis there was a man who loved a girl. Yes, he did. He worked 7 years for that girl....and he ended up with the wrong one. Thus, he worked another 7 years for that girl....and he ended up with two wives. What a lucky guy.

But this man loved one of his wives and not the other one. Sad day.

I feel sorry for Leah...yes, Leah...Jacob's wife.

A lot of people have some sort of bitterness for the Leah of the Bible. Like it was her choice to let her father trick Jacob into marrying her before marrying Rachel. Thus making Jacob work another 7 years for Rachel again.

A little hard work never hurt anyone.

Did anyone ever think of the way that Leah might feel about this? I mean, back then women didn't really have much of a choice in the matters of anything, right? What about Leah? She had to obey her father....she probably didn't even want to marry Jacob. I'll bet he wasn't even cute. Yet, she had to and he did not love her. She could've found someone who loved her. She gave birth to many children of a father who did not love her. What a shame. How do you think that made her feel? Here she is giving birth to many many sons and the father of her children doesn't love her....and he treats those sons differently than he treats the offspring of him and Rachel.

How rude.

Leah....the unloved one. I feel sorry for her. I would have hated to be Leah back then.

EDIT: So I was talking to David about this today...and we went through and discussed the first four sons of Leah....

Genesis 29:
31 When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. 32 Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, "It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now." 33 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, "Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too." So she named him Simeon. 34 Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, "Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons." So he was named Levi.
35 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, "This time I will praise the LORD." So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.

If you notice, every time she had a son she thought to herself, "Maybe my husband will love me now." Then at verse 35 she gave birth to Judah and praised the Lord....and then she stopped having children and her sister was very jealous of her.

Do you know that the line of Judah is where Jesus comes from???

Yes, that's right....Leah's son Judah is an ancestor of Jesus.

What now Laban, Jacob and Rachel?

Update

So, I'm terrible at keeping this updated. At least I've already done so once this year! Which is more than I can say for....other things....like dusting. Oh well.

Chris and I FINALLY got cable and internet. It's so nice to not have to watch DVD's all the time. We enjoy shows like, "Criminal Minds," "Once Upon A Time" and the NEWS!!! It's also nice to sit out in the living room surfing the internet at will while Chris watches his weird shows.

I was finally able to get my hair highlighted and cut today. Oh my it makes me feel so fresh! :)

Chris's work schedule has changed. He now works 9am-7pm. It has kind of messed up our lifestyle. We no longer go to bed before most elderly folk but instead are living more like college students, up past midnight. I can't handle the 2 or 3am nights anymore though. I'm not that young anymore! However, it is nice to cuddle in the mornings before I have to get up for work. And the couple of hours by myself in the evenings is nice for getting some things done...like dusting.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!

So what if it's already 7 days into the New Year? I am a busy woman!

So many changes happened in the year 2011.

At the end of 2010, I was an engaged woman. I was getting the awesome chance to marry one of my very best friends of my awkward junior high years. Hey, if the guy chose to hang out with me THEN he's a keeper right? :)
The months of January-April were "wedding, wedding, wedding." I know I drove my parents nuts, just found out I drove my co-workers nuts, and Chris....yeah him too. I don't understand why any woman would want to get married more than once. It's stressful!

Finally our day had arrived! It was wonderful and all that I had been imagining in the previous 6 months. My groom looked handsome, bridesmaids and groomsmen wonderful, parents beaming with pride, and joy overflowing my heart as I said "I do" to the boy I had loved for years and the man he turned out to be.

We spent the first couple of days after our wedding learning how to share covers, and live with someone of the opposite gender....among learning other things.  ;) Three days after we were wed, we traded my Silver 2007 Cobalt for a Maroon 2009 GMC Sierra. I was sad to see the Cobalt go but knew that we needed something better for the both of us.

By mid-May, Chris and I were both ready for a change. During the wedding weekend, Chris's brother-in-law Joe and sister Heather joked around that we should move to Noblesville and be near them. Little did we know. After a couple of phone calls, Chris had a guaranteed job and I had an interview in Noblesville, Indiana.....so we moved!

June 4th we (with the help of my parents) packed up all of our belongings into our truck and a small U-Haul and made the 7 hour trek to the Indianapolis suburb.
After 2 weeks of my failure to land a job and Chris's meager checks from his job, we decided that Noblesville was not where we were supposed to be. So, on Father's Day, we packed up our belongings again and made the hour and a half trip south to Columbus, Indiana to live with his grandparents until we got back on our feet. Chris quit his job in Noblesville on Monday, came back to Columbus and started our search with an employment agency. His Aunt Christa works for one and was able to land him a "temp-to-hire" position at Impact Forge Group, a company that forges steel parts for vehicles and other equipment. We walked into her office on Monday, interviewed on Tuesday, and started on Wednesday. Do you think God had a hand in that?

I, on the other hand, could NOT find employment. However, after 7 weeks of searching in Columbus, I finally had an interview with Hotel Indigo, an upscale hotel right in downtown Columbus. They offered me a position as a Customer Service Representative and I took it.

Working at a hotel is much different than working at a bank. I loved it. I loved the people I worked with and especially the managers above me. I think that the general manager and front desk manager are the best people I could have ever worked for and with. However, the hours were very hard on me and the time I got to spend with Chris was minimal. He went to work 6-4 every day and there were some days I worked 3-11. Therefore we would only get to see each other before bed and when we woke up in the morning. That's no good when you're starting a life together so I started looking.

We had been attending a church in Seymour, Indiana and had expressed our concerns to the pastor there. He got us in touch with a bank in the area (where our music pastor just so happens to work and have high standing in) and I was able to apply online, get an interview and be hired. It was a $1.63 higher an hour and we knew that's what we needed at the time.

Shortly after getting the job, we decided that we needed a second vehicle. It was tough on gas for me to drive 35 minutes each way to work and for Chris to continue to drive his 20 minutes one way to work. We were ready to be on our own anyway and started searching for a place to live in Seymour.

And oh boy does the Lord provide! We were able to find a good apartment for minimal rent AND only 2 blocks from the bank! We use the car to save on gas and I walk to work! It's a HUGE blessing!

Shortly after moving to Seymour, Chris got a promotion AND raise. He still works for the Impact Forge Group, however, he is employed at Net Forge, a sister company of Impact Forge. He's a Quality Engineer and does a lot of work on a computer now. It's a salary exempt position which means he's salary for the first 40 hours, and then gets overtime pay for anything after 40 hours. It's been a really big blessing for us to have that extra income.

Now we just live day-by-day, trying our best to serve the Lord and glorify Him in all that we do.
We miss our families and friends but know that the Lord has us where He needs us for now. We cannot wait to see what HE has in store for us!